SATIRE FROM THE BOROWITZ REPORT DESANTIS WARNS THAT MATH MAKES CHILDREN GAY By Andy Borowitz April 18, 2022 TALLAHASSEE (The Borowitz Report)—Proposing a sweeping ban on math in Florida’s classrooms, Governor Ron DeSantis asserted that “the latest research” indicates that “math makes children gay.” “For years, liberals in the education mafia have brainwashed Americans into thinking…

Ever wonder why Easter is never on the same day from year to year? Well I did. I mean, for Christ’s sake, the guy was born on December 25th. We all know that. And you’re telling me that after 2000 years of religious scholars and bible thumping, they can’t figure out what day he died?…

The acronym for Fastest Known Time is a popular subset of the outdoor types. Seems the world is obsessed with doing something faster than anyone else. BFD. Big fucking deal. Anyone who truly enjoys time outdoors appreciates the lingering; the soaking in of what is around them. Wonderment is a subset of lingering. The type…