On Thursday past, I was driving to one of my favorite mountain bike rides. A clear, beautiful early spring morning. On NC Highway 226, I was driving north. The highway is a wonderful western North Carolina two lane country road. During the week, it’s lightly traveled and surrounded by woods and rivers.

As I crossed the First Broad River bridge, coming in the opposite direction on a perfectly straight stretch, a 2001 Lexus RX300 briefly swerved into my lane about 150 yards in front of me. It briefly corrected then came completely into my lane and never made an effort to correct. Two vehicles traveling in opposite directions cover approximately 300 feet in a second. Count ‘em 1,2, wham. The fact that I was on a bridge left me no way out and no where to run to. Instinctively at the last split second, I turned the steering wheel left and let the passenger front corner impale the front of the Lexus.

I couldn’t get out of the driver’s door and had to crawl over my diclocated mountain bike and climb out the passenger door. The other driver was pinned in his vehicle and I immediately screamed, “ You Motherfucker!” He was coherent and moaning but I made no effort to assist Dickless. He deserved whatever was in his future. Effectively, I had hit a wall at 100 miles per hour and walked away…well limped. Turned out I had a hairline fracture of one of my ankle bones…Yeah, that’s it.

After I called 911, it took close to half an hour for First Responders to arrive. The other driver was moaning and crying for help. Aside from the fact there was nothing I could do, I yelled several times for him to shut the fuck up. When responders arrived, he had to be cut out and was airlifted to the hospital. Dickless gets a helicopter ride.

The Universe works in mysterious and wonderful ways. Usually I take my dog with me. That morning, I chose to leave her at home. A month earlier I had decided to buy a new car. It wasn’t 45 degrees and raining. This morning I walked my dog.