When I saw this headline, I thought they were talking about a certain newly elected official. Turns out the article was a scientific one about comb jellies and ancient digestive tracts. On second thought, maybe I wasn’t that far off.

I’m with Michelle Obama. Why sit around with all the other cud chewing cows and watch The Felonius Rapist become The Orangutan-In-Chief. I’m sure my socks need folding.

“It is our lot in life, as the rich and powerful, to make sure others suffer so that we may not.” Cried King Donald. “Afterall, it’s the morons that elected me.”