In these New Enlightened States of America:

Women are respected.
Old white guys run screaming into the night.
Karl Rove trips and falls face first into a mud puddle which has his name on it.
Rush Limbaugh and Donald Trump get married in New York.
Obama is President. Forever.
Fox News becomes a Reality show then gets canceled.
Everyone has a Pot garden in their backyard.
Red becomes Blue.
Michele Obama becomes The First Lady. Forever.
Florida learns how to count.
Herman Cain becomes a deaf/mute.
John Boehner and Mitch McConnell get married in New York and name their love-child Andrew Wiener.
GM, Ford and Toyota make only bicycles.